I’m really enjoying being one of the trainers for a new 40 hour mediation course a few other trainers and I put together. Today was day three of the five day course, and we have recieved a lot of positive feedback from those going through the course already. The way it is going, and from the feed back we’ve recieved, we are sure we will be conducing future sessions. I wanted to share a little about asking questions, which was included in one of my sessions on effective communication.

Asking questions and then listening to the answers is an important skill for mediators. Sometimes we can see the “solution” and want to jump to “fix” the problem and resolve the dispute. We must remember, the parties coming to the solution and resolution is more powerful than a mediator telling them a solution. Therefore, successful mediators elicit information and then solutions from parties by asking questions.

Open-ended questions let the party respond by elaborating on a topic in his or her own words. Questions using “what” or “tell me more” fall into this category. Examples could include:

Could you please explain what brings you here today?
What happened next?
Could you elaborate on that, please?
Please tell me more about how that happened and what it meant to you?

Open-ended questions elicit the most information in the shortest amount of time. The mediator cannot learn nearly as much, or whether someone is angry, upset, committed, or nonchalant if all the person does is answer “yes” or “no.” (The mediator might get an idea, but nowhere near the information as open dialog will reveal.) Open-ended questions allow people to explain the dispute in a way that is comfortable to them, which in turn helps the mediator gain respect and trust by treating them with respect.

Open-ended but focused questions invite parties to answer in their own words but are targeted toward a particular subject matter. These can be used to find out more about certain issues of the dispute. “Will you please tell me more about the installation of the water heater?” or “Will you tell me how you conducted the research for this project?”

Justification questions are “why” questions. “Can you tell me why that wage proposal is unacceptable?”

Leading questions has an answer in the question and can be answered “yes” or “no.” An example would be, “You were late in submitting the report, weren’t you?” As a rule, mediators should refrain from asking leading questions. However, there are times where such questions might be appropriate in a private meeting or caucus. An example might be when exploring settlement option where you look at a possibility and end with, “would that be an arrangement you could live with?”

Mediators act purposefully, and this includes asking questions. Different questions are tools in the mediator’s tool box, and thinking about not only what information you want to get, but how to formulate questions to get it, is a skill the mediator will continue to develop throughout his or her career.